I don’t love my husband like I used to.

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Well today I am starting from the very beginning. Senior year of high school at Abilene High. I walked in and sat down in math class and some red headed, football playing, loud guy, sat right in front of me. GREAT. *insert a million eye rolls* The next few weeks and months went by and this red head ALWAYS wanted to be my partner, he NEVER stopped talking to me, and he constantly talked about how if we ever got married he would take me hunting all the time. We would even go hunting on our honey moon. *NOT HAPPENING. EVER.* He asked me on dates at least several times a month. He wrote Allison Walker on my papers ALL the time. Blayze brought me green teas, flowers, chocolate, anything I mentioned I liked he got. I finally said yes to a date. March 8, 2012 (6 years ago!) he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. From that day on I saw him every day. We talked, laughed, and did all the things that normal couples did. We graduated high school and both of us still liked each other enough to stick in it.

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After high school we went to work and college. We had been dating for about 7 months when Blayze asked me to marry him. Again I was standing there saying yes to that red headed boy who had sat in front of me in math class. I know what you’re thinking. Wow that is fast. Were you pregnant? Why so soon? No I was not pregnant. So soon? Because simply we knew at that time we were so in love and we did not want to be with anyone else. So like that the wedding planning began.

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May 18, 2013. The day that we both committed to standing together forever. We committed to loving each other even on the bad days. That day we both changed forever. For the better. We now shared a last name and boy was I excited to change that puppy on EVERYTHING. I was so excited to have the whole world see that I was his, and he was mine. As the days went on we had fun most days. We made memories that I will cherish for the rest of my days. Blayze was my best friend and he taught me so many things. He taught me to love the out doors, see joy in crazy situations, and that I should always give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I struggle with that and I struggle with giving people second, third, and even fourth chances. (He is so forgiving and gives people chance after chance and I believe he gets that from his momma. They both forgive like its the first time.)

Fast forward to today and the reason I am writing this post. I do not love Blayze like I did all those years ago. Things have changed and we have had experiences that have molded us into the people we are today. I can honestly say that I love my husband in a way that I never would have thought possible. I am by no means saying our marriage is perfect. He annoys me and I know I can annoy him. However I am thankful that even on our worst days we go to bed and say I love you and we mean it. I know that when I am chasing my dreams he will be there to lift me up. I know that he will stand up and fight for me until he is blue in the face. I will always do the same for him. That is how it works(for us). I am so proud to say that we have no need to scream or yell at each other and that we can always just talk it out. I truly believe that we bring out the best in each other. I thank God for sitting that red headed boy in front of me in math class. That boy has turned into a man. The man who made me a wife, momma, and the best version of myself. Here is to 6 years with my best friend and soul mate.

“may the light of your special lives continue to fuel the flame of love which will fuel your future together, a future filled with the warmth and the love of the flame you feel and share” – Edsel Hughes

 

 

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